1 Moving to a strange house on a hill with strange people
Make sure there's no public transport to that house so that you have to walk uphill for at least 30 min every day. A bicycle adds nice extra sweat to the equation. Of course the optimal hill is too steep for actually cycling, but you burn loads of extra calories while walking with the bicycle by your side.
By the time you get to the house, feel very hungry but remember to keep that very Finnish mentality of not wanting to bother others. That way you just take a cold shower and spend rest of the night in your own room without food. Maybe munch some cookies you find from your bag.
2 Having a baby
A very efficient way to lose about 18 kg in two weeks. And after that some more with the help of breast feeding and baby lifting. That way you might get to the same weight you were before getting pregnant.
Bonus: A very cute baby to love, laugh and live with.
And yes, if you ask my scale, this counts as weight loss.
3 Flight Attendant diet
Once I had to fit into a dress that was tailormade for me when I was 18. I had trouble breathing in it so I tried the "flight attendant diet" for a week. Breakfast: half a grapefruit (can't believe I survived). Lunch: some tuna and beans. Dinner: a boiled egg and and a tomato.OK, I'm just memorizing the hell I went through and might get all the facts wrong. BUT: I lost 4 kg and looked stunning in the dress AND didn't get them back in a long time, because that diet was actually a good reminder that I don't have to eat such huge proportions. Less was enough.
Downside: For the whole week I was one angry bitching piece of hellfire that couldn't stop thinking about food for 1 minute. Not worth it.
4 Eating disorder
A powerful way to eat whatever you want, but not gain weight. But if you just add some obsessive jogging and fasting, you end up also losing some.
Downside: It's very harmful for your emotional and physical health. Also makes you smell bad, look ill and act antisocially, it's expensive and unecological. Causes extra stress to your loved ones and makes you feel disgusting whenever you really should be feeling fabulous (like eating with family or friends, getting ready to a party or just chilling out without a care in the world). Not worth it.
Instead of losing weight, I suggest practising on loving your shapes and curves the way they are and focusing on inner beauty and smiling straight from your soul. If you show some of that, you look beautiful in any shape!
5 Shit's just getting real here!! Avoid sugar!
A.k.a. Stop eating like a fucking hippo. Read a book about the differences of high and low glycemic index foods and start choosing the low GI ones. You never have to be hungry. Don't even have to feel bad about those days when you ate all the chocolate and pizza in the world, because healthy low GI food is what you'll be eating all the other days. When you can make that "diet" your lifestyle with a some exercise, you'll most likely stay in some kind of slim or normal form.
This is not a weight loss tip unless you're overweight or very strict with the diet, but it's my favourite way of eating and staying in the same sized clothes. Skinny isn't that beautiful. A healthy body is.
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